Okay a little bit of a strange subject for me to be thinking about.
Do you think Sunday Trading laws should be abolished and let shops open normal hours on a Sunday and allow those workers who go to sunday service the option of not working on a Sunday?
I was under the impression that the these trading laws were brought in to remind people they had to go to church on a Sunday?
I think the laws should be abolished, what are your thoughts?
If you’re following me on Google+ you will know that I have finally got a job after a further 8 months unemployed. The downside is it’s only a temporary job for a minimum of 6 weeks.
I thought I’d be happy that I’m working again, but I’m not. There are many factors in play outside of being unemployed. I feel that I just want to pack my bags and just disappear, too much noise going on around me. Too many distractions of the wrong kind. My mind once more is in turmoil. I’m still ending up working for someone else instead of going out there and being my own boss.
I’m starting to go back to my dark times of 2006/7, pre bankruptcy, not necessarily feeling sorry for myself, just feeling miserable and really not knowing which way to turn. I just need to get away from it all, walking down to the local park just doesn’t have the relaxing factor anymore as I’m still too close to the factors that are making me unhappy. I’ve now got 2 days off before I head back to work. Normally this would be a chance for me to relax, but I know that isn’t going to happen. I’ve been stuck in this rut for far too long, I’m starting to think drastic action is called for and to stop thinking what others may think about what I’m going to do next.
You feel you are made to jump through hoops like a circus animal in order to get the slightest thing done, or to earn money to pay the rent and put food in your belly. At my age, being single I should be carefree, but I feel that there is a millstone around my neck.
I just want to take off somewhere where it is peaceful, not necessarily quiet, I don’t mind the buzz of people being around me, I like observing people and the environment around me, I cannot do that in my current situation. I feel like I’m slowly becoming detached from the world around me, not in a nice way, just in a way that I don’t want to be here anymore. I’d rather lock myself away in some fantasy world, where you know if you get hurt it isn’t real you can heal quickly and you know that there is going to be something different around the corner.
I’m not living, I’m existing, it has to stop.
I’m thinking about starting up a new blog to list these thoughts in it instead of turning people off by posting in my main blog.
If you’ve managed to read through this without zoning out or switching off then thank you for taking time to gain an insight into how I’m feeling right now.
Today marks the end of the 1st week of August. It’s amazing how time flies, for me anyway.
It won’t be long before were into September, okay enough of looking that far into the future.
Let’s say I’m no further along than I was at the beginning of the month. Still no job.
Last night I took up Blizzard’s offer for a weeks free World of Warcraft play, in a way I’ve missed it, but not really that much, sure the hour or so I played flew by, but the buzz isn’t there at the moment, I’m still way off Level 85 where the really good stuff happens.
Yes I’m still planning to go to Cornwall, I’m thinking about it every single day, it’s what keeps me motivated during the monotonous soul destroying job hunt. Rental prices for property down there don’t seem to bad. The only downside is the vast majority won’t accept benefits of any kind, so I’m going to have to find quite a bit of money in order to put down a deposit and a month or more rent to keep any letting agent happy, or find a guarantor.
So I’m stuck in a vicious circle. I want to move but I can’t because I have no money, I don’t have any money because I don’t have a job and I’m finding it difficult to find a job.
I’ve thought about going to college full time, but here comes the rub, you don’t get benefits because you’re a full time student. So Mr Cameron is it really that easy to get out of the benefits culture? Me thinks not.
…arguing with people who think it’s their duty to tell other people how to lead their lives, what they should be doing at a certain age etc..
Life is too short for me to be focussing on the negatives. I’m not going to become selfish, I’ll help those who need it.
If you want to carry on telling people how to lead their lives, be my guest, I won’t be arguing with you. I’ll let someone else do that instead.
Do you ever find yourself sitting in front of your computer and your mind is completely blank? You really want to write about something, but the old spark isn’t there.
So what do I do? I post about my mind being supposedly blank. 
What do you do to stimulate your mind to start thinking about stuff?
If we’re only bound by our imagination, then why are we stuck here?
Let’s imagine we are all in a far away place where there is no war and we’re not damaging the planet. I think it’s called utopia the place where we would all love to be.
If we do get there, let’s have our own utopia shaped individually so we can form it to our own imagination and not force anyone to conform if they wish to visit.
I like to think I feel a lot safer with my imagination, block out what is happening in the “real” world. I can sleep safely at night in my imagination, in my imagination I’m the world’s richest person. I don’t have to work for a living, I can work because I want to, because I enjoy it.
Or am I mistaking utopia for cloud cuckoo land?
So do you feel safe in your imagination?
When is it time to say enough is enough? When you are fed up of keeping the peace in any situation, you just want to hold your hands up and speak what’s on your mind.
Do people really want me to be the person I was 10 years ago?
I can do all of those if you really want me to, if you really want me to be true to myself, do you really want me to unleash my demons onto the world?
I’ll have one hell of a load of less friends in the world, one hell of a lot less followers on twitter, friends on facebook. I’ll once more be known as someone with a hot temper and liable to lash out.
I thought I’d gone beyond all of that. But being where I am mentally at the moment, it seems I cannot get over that final hurdle.
So your choice. Keep the genie in the bottle or be careful what you wish for? It’ll probably make me miserable as hell, but I’d be true to myself.
I’ve been thinking about this for quite sometime.
People who over analyse things, looking for something that isn’t really there and not taking the time to enjoy something at its face value and remove brain and suspend belief for a short while.
Do these people do it because they think they’re being clever in the eyes of their peers? When in fact they look completely the opposite and sound like or read like that they’re clutching at straws, bending whats there to fit what they’re thinking instead of taking a situation for what it is.
Dont try to be clever, just once in a while disengage your brain and accept things at face value.
Sorry for this self indulgent blog post, but I’m getting to the stage now where I’ve had enough of my current situation. Nearly a year without a job is sending me stir crazy. I’m at the stage where I’m thinking of taking off for a couple days. Where I’ll find the money nobody knows.
… and I got wet yesterday.
Hard to get inspired when you’re having buckets of water poured on your head, typical autumn weather. I have to go out again today, to the Job Centre, then to college tonight, it’s sunny at the moment, so fingers crossed it will be conducive to some inspiration.