Treading water
There you are happily swimming up and down in the grand swimming pool of life without a care in the world.
Then suddenly you find you can no longer swim, something has taken away your ability to swim. So there you are in the middle of the pool of life treading water, trying not to sink below the water line.
I hit this point back in July 2006 when I was made redundant from my job of 5 years, I didn’t have a care in the world, the bills were being paid, I was kicking back having a real good time with my colleagues so much so that they became my friends outside of work.
Then the first block comes and suddenly you find yourself without the safety net of a relatively good paying job, however I was rubbish with saving money so I was living from one payday to the next, still having a great time.
Then in October 2007, stuff came to a head and with great anguish had to declare myself bankrupt, I had relatively small debts compared to some, at that time I was finding it difficult to keep my head above water. So this was the only option open to me at the time.
Thankfully this only lasted about 6 months.
I was still going from temp job to temp job as assignments that were available were only short term only lasting 3 months at a time, I did get a permanent job for a while, but wasn’t very happy so jumped at the next opportunity that came along, as they say grass is always greener on the other side and I hated the next job I got, I was just motivated by the hourly rate the job paid. It was stressing me out, so I decided to leave.
I returned to the company I had left previously on a temporary basis which lasted until December 2007.
I ended up only working 3 months in 2008, so this made my situation even worse, I was tearing my hair out with boredom and frustration with no work being out there.
Then around November 2008 I met the most influential guy on twitter called Gary Vaynerchuk. I had signed up on twitter the previous year and hadn’t really seriously used it until that point.
However the problem with me is that I start to lose interest in things, they become boring and too mundane very quickly, so I need to be motivated and find something that is not only challenging, but is something that I can enjoy.
What is the point in challenging yourself to do something and you are hating every minute of it?
People are always saying that money isn’t everything, as long as you have your health then nothing else matters. You also have your family so nothing else matters.
So what do you do if you have screwed up so many times that your family turns their back on you? In my case rightly so.
So much to the point that my mother wants me to vacate the flat that she bought so I could have a fresh start in life and to get my life into gear. That was 8 years ago, so you see a pattern emerging here.
I am so scared of hitting rock bottom, I know that I’m in denial. There is nothing that can shake me out of my malaise. Hitting rock bottom could be an ideal opportunity to pick myself up and dust myself off and be a game changer.
However my one big underlying fear is that I just may not get up again and I’ll just give up and just lie there and think “fuck it, I’ve had enough of this world, this rat race I’m stuck in.”
No matter how hard I try to not think about money, it is difficult not to, sure my outgoings are now way down, however that still doesn’t mean that the bills still aren’t piling up and every day there is a demand coming through the door for payment.
I was hoping that I had learned from the lessons of the past, I have failed dismally. I have fallen back into the same ruts as before with my wheels spinning or I’m in that grand pool of life treading water waiting for someone with a life raft to come and pick me up so I can continue my same sorry existence as before without a single change being made.
So I need a big old virtual kick up the backside from everyone on Twitter and all the other social media networks I’m on.
Please comment below with suggestions.
I guess no one wanted to comment. I think most people “tread water” because it’s safe and comfortable , I am like that. Hope things work out well for you.